Perfect! Welcome to the club. All meditators experience some mental rebellion from time to time. It is completely normal, it is just what the mind does.
It is not necessary to try and stop your thoughts. Rather we focus on changing the relationship with the flow of the mind. When we notice the inner chatter on the background (or very loudly on the foreground!), we practice to stay in a state of relaxation and openness, rather than judgement and contraction.
I love this example from Mooji that illustrates the busy-mind-dilemma:
Driver: Can we turn the wipers off? They are distracting me.
Instructor: Keep your eyes on the road alone, and the wipers will not distract you.
Driver: I think I need to go at least to the slow lane.
Instructor: No. Only focus on the road.
Driver: I can’t! My eyes go involuntarily with their movement. Could we switch them off?
Instructor: No. You must learn to drive with them on. Focus only on the road.
Driver: But it’s too dangerous! I can’t keep the car straight!
Instructor: No. Stay focused on the road only. Ignore the wipers.
Driver: But it is too dangerous! I will crash!
Instructor: Simply focus on the road. Relax.
Despite the wipers still swishing at full speed, the driver suddenly receives the message, finds relaxation and is able to hold the attention on the road.
So rather than focusing on the constant movement of our thoughts, surroundings or apparent problems, we focus on the open space in which these movements can freely come and go, without following them. No matter how many or how little thoughts are passing, we simply let them be and stay focused on the Self.
And yes, of course it can be frustrating at times, but don't give up before you've seen the beauty of this road's destination. If you try sincerely, and keep showing up, peace will inevitably come to you. You are welcome to give it a try!
The Silent Sitting on Wednesdays 20:00-20:45 CET starts with a guided meditation to help you drop into this relaxed state of allowance and will give you time to practice for yourself afterwards.